
Alf Button (@AlfsButton) made an unexpected visit to The Wrong Arms yesterday, staying from 9pm (2pm Mexico time) to 10.30pm (3.30pm Mehico).

Alf appeared to be in a somewhat dark mood, although he did lighten-up enough to take the piss out of me - which is a hobby of his that never fails to bring a smile to my face - and he also got smutty with EARS.
Here are the highlights of his conversations:
ALF: The external world is only of interest to me for my art.
GOB: And otherwise best avoided. Too depressing...
ALF: Ones emotional distance from the trivial world stops such feelings. I am depressed in myself and nothing more. This is simply a fable of fact.

ALF: Where does the fiction cease and the reality begin? Where is the crystallisation?
NAT: That is rather abstract.
ALF: I imagine it is two mad dogs fighting over the dead body of their master.

ALF: One is constantly wondering if reality arrived before poetry or if poetry could exist without a reality.
RAT: Interesting. Poetry is a reflection of reality, so without knowledge of the reality, surely it would be impossible to write.
ALF: That has hardly stopped modern day pop singers from writing has it?
RAT: They're guessing. Can anyone really believe that Ed Sheeran has lived a real life?
ALF: Is Dread Beer-run considered a pop writer? I consider him a caveman with one hand.

DREAD BEER-RUN - ONE HANDED CAVEMAN
RAT: Pop stars used to be handsome, now anyone can be a pin-up, even one handed cavemen.
ALF: Yet your portraits are hanging in a ramshackle shed in Dagenham.

HOME TO MY PORTRAITS.... ALTHOUGH WHY DAGENHAM IS ANYONE'S GUESS.... IN FACT, AS DAGENHAM DAVE WAS A DERISIVE SONG, PERHAPS DAGENHAM IS MORRISSEY'S 'GO TO PLACE' FOR DERISION - HIS ARSE OF THE WORLD, IF YOU LIKE. WHY AM I STILL WRITING ALL THIS AS A CAPTION? BEST I TAKE OFF THE CAP LOCK AND BOLD TYPE AND MOVE ON
I've never actually been to Dagenham, but a quick Google search informs me that a couple of years ago it was voted 'Britain's Most Miserable Area' and it is also the most burgled place in Britain - I hope my portraits are safe in that shed!
Alf in The Arms continued:
ALF: The life of imagination and the life of action are one and the same. (I really can't agree with this, although maybe it is for him - Ed)
ALF: When all is said and done musicians are of a higher importance than scientists.
EARS: Music can touch the deepest places where nothing else can reach. This holds invaluable meaning.
ALF: One does not need to be alerted to your deep places.
HEATHER: What would life be without music?
ALF: The same as music without life. We live because we have no say in the matter. We listen because we do.

HEATHER: Life is unfathomable without music and art.
ALF: My life is unfathomable and unexplainable with or without the arts. I am an empty vessel flowing down the cultural nadir.
RAT: We all have our destiny. At least you float!
ALF: If you have the power to make someone happy I really wouldn't bother.

STOP PRESS (5.25PM UK TIME)
Alf Button paid a visit to The Wrong Arms today (4.45pm UK - 9.45am Mexico) to do a little explaining to us regular irregulars aka the Dreary Deluded Dozen aka the BRS.
Alf started by retweeting a tweet of Dawn Mist's from March 21st, in which Dawn had written, "Paris is off the list."
I asked Alf, "But what does it mean? Where is this list?" He replied, "Must I spell it out? Because I did not sing it out."
Suddenly the penny dropped. I, along with others, had presumed that Dawn's reference to Paris had been the place, and that perhaps it wasn't to be included on an upcoming European tour, but what Dawn was actually referring to was the song! - I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris has been taken off the SET list.
Alf's next retweet of Dawn's was again from March 21st. It was a tweet that had originally followed the 'Paris tweet', and it read, "As is Scandinavia." Again, I and others had taken this as a reference to the place, but it too was a reference to the song, which also wasn't on the Monterrey set list... although in fairness, Scandi doesn't get sung as often as Paris.
Alf then retweeted Dawn's tweet to me from March 23rd, in which she had told me, "Trouble loves Me will not be number one (on the Wrong Arms Chart - Ed). You'll see."
Alf then left, with his parting words being, "How could Dawn possibly know how I feel?"