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Sunday, 28 February 2016

Day 1629 - A sign of crashing bores

Close your eyes and picture an imaginary back street called, Morrissey Row. Morrissey Row is a poorly lit road, away from the main drag of the town centre, and is home to a number of Morrissey theme pubs; three of which feature in this story.

The first of these pubs is a long established inn called, The Delve So-low, which is located in the heart of the street, and owned outright by a Chinese American named, David 'Kim Jong-un' Tslag. Tslag earned his 'Kim Jong-un' nickname due to both a facial likeness, and similar dictatorial ways to the North Korean leader. Tslag leaves the day-to-day running of the pub to a small group of volunteers, which include head barman, Uncle Skinny, or 'Prick' as he has nicknamed himself - which he often shortens to simply, 'P.'. The Delve So-low once boasted a thriving community, but in recent years it's popularity has declined, and it is now a place where there are regular brawls among the clientele - more often than not, started by the staff.


The second pub is a members only club called, The Wrong Arms. The Wrong Arms is home to a small co-operative known as the Blue Rose Society, whose members all wear a rose; which they believe is Morrissey's own personal flower of choice.

And lastly is a newly opened wine bar at the far end of the street called, Heifer Whines. This bar is away from the other pubs, and was purchased by it's three young owners; Kezza, MerryAnne and Bitchy Bob on impulse, having carried out no market research whatsoever to ascertain whether or not there was any demand for such a place.

Each of the three establishments is equipped with both a jukebox and a giant screen. The jukebox in The Delve So-low is stocked mainly with songs by the Smiths, and from Morrissey's solo career up until 1995 - there are no songs from the past 20 years. The jukebox in The Wrong Arms is full of anything and everything; excluding Dread Beerrun, Katy Porridge, Kanye Worst or any of the other non-entities currently masquerading as the populist, whilst the jukebox in the Heifer Whines mainly has songs by Morrissey from his solo career, including multiple copies of Action is my Middle Name and People Are the Same Everywhere.

When the Morrissey website, True-To-You, publishes anything, it is automatically transmitted onto the giant screen in each of the pubs. Our story begins just as such an occurrence has taken place. It is Saturday February 27 2016, and T-T-Y has just released an article entitled, The World Is Full of Crashing Bores, which consists of a video entitled, The Truth About Popular Music.

(Inside The Delve So-low)

UNCLE SKINNY: Oh look, here we go again, yet more bollocky old bollocks from the yesterday man.

POET: But you haven't even watched it yet, so how can you possibly make comment on the content of the video?

UNCLE SKINNY: I don't need to watch it, you Yankee twat, I already KNOW that it will be a load of  horse shite. Anything and everything that that man says, or associates himself with, is wanky fuck piss these days; including his so called musicians.

POET: Then why do you bother coming here?

UNCLE SKINNY: Because I'm waiting for him to reform the Smiths, you dozy dick drip. It's only a matter of time now. He is completely devoid of any new ideas, and will very soon crawl on his knees to plead with Johnny to reunite the greatest group there ever was, and I will be in the front row to see it. I know I'm right, and if you say otherwise, I will sue you. In fact, if you utter another word, I will sue you.

IRISH BLOOD: Well, if anyone's interested, the video is about how dumbed down the music industry has become, and it includes a mention of Morrissey and Marr, and how they once injected poetry and melodic genius into the pop charts.

UNCLE SKINNY: WHAT'S THAT? Morrissey has posted a video about him and Marr? It's a sign. It's a glaringly obvious sign. He hasn't mentioned Marr for years, and now he suddenly posts a video all about how good he was with Johnny. The reunion is ON I tell yer, it's ON!

POET: The video is hardly all about Morrissey and Ma-

UNCLE SKINNY: -SHUT UP, SHUT UP! No one wants to hear your bullshit, you pile of goat cum. You can expect a letter from my wife, I mean lawyer, first thing tomorrow.

(Meanwhile, over at The Wrong Arms, the regulars have just finished watching the video)

RAT: Well, well, well, would you believe it. I spend Wednesday, Thursday and Friday tweeting about how dreadful the record industry is, and now THIS! It's an obvious nod to me. I must write about this latest 'coincidence' on my mesmerizing blog, which Morrissey himself spends hours and hours reading. And look, Moz has even given it the heading, The World Is Full of Crashing Bores, which I just so happened to make Number 1 in the weekly chart I compile on my incredible blog. It couldn't BE more obvious - Morrissey is giving me a virtual wave.

(The other people in The Wrong Arms exchange glances with each other, and roll their eyes. There is silence for a while before eventually Comrade Herpes speaks.)

COMRADE HERPES: You might well be right, Rat, but my initial thought is that it is more likely a nod to MorrisseysWorld. Our Mozzer was always posting conspiracy theory pieces.

HEATHER CAT: Yes, I agree, Comrade. I'm not saying that you're wrong, Rat, but the video is by Paul Joseph Watson, who is an editor of Alex Jones' Infowars website. I'm pretty sure Our Mozzer used to follow Jones on Twitter. It would appear to me that by posting this video on TTY, Morrissey is once again proving that he was involved with MorrisseysWorld.

RAT: Yes, I agree with you two, it's a definite nod to both FTM and MorrisseysWorld... but probably mainly FTM. Let's not ever forget that toothbrush mention in Long Island.

CHUCK: (muttering so that Rat can't hear, but the others can) How could we?

(Everyone sniggers)

RAT: What's that you said?

CHUCK: I said, er, er, how could he? How could Moz do that?

RAT: Do what?

CHUCK: Oh, er, um, ignore me, I'm just a silly fruit.

RAT: Why exactly do you dress up as a fruit? Everyone knows who you are.

CHUCK: I've gotten used to it. I like the feel of the peel against my skin.

RAT: You're weird!

CHUCK: Thank you.

(Meantime, down at the Heifer Whines, the three owners are sat around, hoping that some customers may appear. Kezza has just finished watching the video)

KEZZA: O... M... G! I don't believe what I have just seen.

MERRYANNE: I missed it, what was it?

KEZZA: It was a video from TTY HQ.

MERRYANNE: Oh, what drama. I'm not sure I can cope. What was in the video? Did it have kittens in it?

KEZZA: No, no kittens, but-

MERRYANNE: -That's a shame, what about adult cats?

KEZZA: No, there were no kittens, no cats, no animals at all, but-

MERRYANNE: -No animals? What about cardigans?

KEZZA: No, there were no cardigans, no jackets, and no shirt tosses.

BITCHY BOB: It was another of those conspiracy videos.

MERRYANNE: I do wish Julia wouldn't post those, Morrissey will be dreadfully upset. It's making me feel sad just thinking about how sad Morrissey will now be feeling. I don't think I can go to work now.

KEZZA:  Forget the video, that's completely irrelevant, it's the heading that's important - it's a direct message to YOU, MerryAnne.

MERRYANNE: Oh, WHAT drama, I'm not sure I can cope. How does it relate to me?

KEZZA: Well, which of his songs did you write about yesterday on our utterly superb new blog, The real and proper world of real Morrissey?

BITCHY BOB: Just call it Trap Worm, that's what everyone else calls it.

MERRYANNE: Everyday is Like Sunday?

KEZZA: No, not that one, the other one you wrote about.

MERRYANNE: Dial a cliché?

KEZZA: No, the other one.



MERRYANNE: The End of the Family Line? We'll let You Know? Seasick, Yet Still Docked?

KEZZA: NO, NO, NO! The World is Full of Crashing Bores! You wrote about it yesterday, remember?

BITCHY BOB: We all wrote about LOTS of songs.

KEZZA: Yes, but MerryAnne just so happened to write about Crashing Bores, and then the following day, Morrissey posts on TTY using the EXACT same title. It's IN-CRED-IBLE. Everything Moz does these days is either a nod to me or a nod to MerryAnne... usually me... but this time it's YOUR turn, MerryAnne.

MERRYANNE: Oh, God. I don't think I can cope! WHAT drama.

(Bitchy Bob looks to the heavens, opens his fourth bag of crisps of the day, and returns to reading his copy of Big Nuts Monthly magazine. Just then the door opens, and a small Scottish woman walks in. )

JINKLES: Och, this looks like a nice bar. Are you three the BRS?

KEZZA: The Blue Rose Society? No we're fucking not! We don't want anything to do with those wankers. We're the SBR.

BITCHY BOB: I thought we were the RBS?

KEZZA: S-B-R! *Tuts*

JINKLES: Can I join?

KEZZA: Not just anyone can join the Society of the Blue Rose. To join, you have to really love Moz.


KEZZA: Oh, yeah? How much?


KEZZA: Okay, you're in. But there's to be no mention of conspiracy theories, it's just kittens, cardigans and shirt tosses for the RBS.

JINKLES: I thought you said you were the SBR?

KEZZA: Yes, SBR, that's it. I never was any good at spelling.

(Just then, Morrissey runs down Morrissey Row, past all the Morrissey theme pubs. The inhabitants of the pubs all see Morrissey, and they spill out into the road, to look for him. A blue rose lays (or is it lies, I never can remember) in the middle of the street. Rat picks it up and holds it aloft)

RAT: A SIGN! A SIGN! Morrissey is running away from all the utter pointlessness and uselessness of it all, and he has left us a blue rose as a sign to stick with him. Follow me and the sign of the blue rose. Let us follow the Mozziah.

UNCLE SKINNY: Shut the fuck up, numb nuts, you must have put that rose there earlier, when no one was watching. Morrissey is looking for Marr, and is running towards a new record deal with the Smiths. We must follow Morrissey as he puts the band back together.

(Kezza then snatches the blue rose away from Rat)

KEZZA: The blue rose has been left for ME. Morrissey is telling us that he wants the RBS-


KEZZA: -That he wants the SBR and TRAP WORM to be the new home for his real and proper fans to meet. He has shut down the MorrisseysWorld chatroom, and now wants all of us true and proper fans to get off of our backsides, or rather, stay on our backsides, and follow him to TRAP WORM.

CHUCK: You can't say off of, it's just off.

KEZZA: What?

CHUCK: Sorry, I don't mean to split hairs, but I noticed that you'd written it a couple of times in your piece about favourite songs from albums. You just can't do it.

(Kezza turns to MerryAnne)

KEZZA: I thought you'd checked that article for spelling and grammar.

MERRYANNE: I did, but I didn't want to upset you.

(Whilst the two members of the SBR argue about grammar, the rest of the Morrissey fans head to the hills, looking for Morrissey)

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

Day 1624 - Nothingness

My twitter timeline over the past few days has never been so empty. The Wrong Arms has been abandoned.

THE WRONG ARMS CHART (Not broadcast)
















Saturday, 20 February 2016

Day 1621 - Fact of the Fiction

It has been a funny old few days in the world of the BRS, with two of the most active members, MerryAnne and Kerry the Cocktail, deciding to leave; stating that they wish to go in a, "different direction" - although what direction this is, God only knows.... not that there is a God of course, it is just a turn of phrase. Perhaps 'Moz only knows' should be adopted instead.


The reasons given by MerryAnne and Kezza for removing themselves as both moderators and contributors from the BRS blog, The World of Moz, and thus "revoking association" are:

1) Not feeling "comfortable" with comrade herpes writing about the illuminati - even though both MorrisseysWorld AND TTY have previously posted on the subject and

2) Not liking me writing about Morrissey's spat with Supreme - even though that wasn't actually posted on TWOM, as I am not a contributor.

It all seems a little flimsy and pedantic to me, but MerryAnne and Kezza are certainly not the first to leave the BRS, and no doubt they won't be the last. I for one wish them well, and thank them for their previous contributions... even though every article/review that they ever wrote for the BRS, they have now deleted from TWOM!



I had presumed that the deletion of all of MerryAnne's and Kezza's articles from TWOM, would have meant that all the comments would be lost too; which included Astra's beautiful words, and some anonymous comments which, a number of people believe may have come from the hand of Moz. Luckily, the comments have remained in the admin part of the blogsite, and Chucky Orange has today reposted the comments as a new article on TWOM. I hadn't previously seen the anonymous comments, posted last August, but I have to say, they certainly read as though they might well have been written by Morrissey. It is the written equivalent of seeing a piece of street art that may, or may not be, the work of Banksy.


Just in case the TWOM blog one day self combusts, here are the anonymous comments in question:

20/7/2015 -

"I am the patron saint of lost causes. The purveyor of maladies. The conflicted court marshal (sic) of hope. Moving between different states appears to be a talent many humans possess however only a select few of them can achieve the required results. Well, what are the required results? Can you acquire the mental faculties to summon the answers for yourself or must I spell everything out? Liquid becomes slabs of concrete in the presence of the suffering masses. Nourishment of mental thought is lacking throughout the human condition. The ability to present oneself in many different guises is the only way you can hope to survive in the world. If you scrape beneath the mud, dirt and grime of the Id, ego, and superego you find only a shell on a man. This shell must, in whatever way possible, build up a front of character to bypass the hazards and suffering of existence. Traits from characters in literature, cinema, music, and even friends if you burden yourself with such commitment, must be taken, consumed, and adapted to provide an ‘original’.

Of course such images are everywhere and there is much to choose from. Mobile’s (sic) bring us closer together but also further apart. Whereas before you had the excitement of the written word on paper in the form of a letter, now you have impersonal type fonts and instant messaging. Send a message and you can immediately see if it has been read and ignored. With the letter you could potentially wait weeks for a response, baited breath and tightened trousers. The world of instant communication is a distraction, it tricks us into thinking that we have ‘friends’ but really we only have screens. Whilst one message is sent on one platform, another is soon sent on another. The time where discoveries of art could be made is now taken up with messaging and television. We live in hope of a technological disaster. The primitive state has never and will never be bettered. "

12/8/2015 - A question was asked as follows: In The Decay of Lying, Wilde said, “Thinking is the most unhealthy thing in the world, and people die of it just as they die of any disease. Fortunately, in England at any rate, thought is not catching.” Do you believe thinking (or overthinking) can possibly be an unhealthy tendency?

And here is the reply from Anon:

"Oscar always speaks sense and it is to Oscar I find myself returning to time after time. Although one must disagree with him on one point; “thought it not catching” is quite clearly a ridiculous statement in regards to England as in England nobody ever thinks so there can be no data on whether it is catching or not. The same opinions are repeated in newspapers, on television, on radio but with different words or perhaps a different style of speaking. The window of discussion in England has become so narrow, opaque, and dull that soon only one opinion will be able to be viewed, much like staring at the same view every day for the rest of your life. Anyone with a difference of opinion will be viewed as a crank, an idiot, or even worse, mental. Indeed if anyone ever managed to conjure a unique thought then they would become so shocked they would decompose into mush in the very spot in which they were standing.

I find that thinking or overthinking is an overtly personal affair. How many bedsit poets are there? How many box-room philosophers? We will, of course, never know. Those who are capable of thinking will never voice the true thoughts in their heads. They will suffer and probably plunge into a deep depression in the belief that they are outsiders and that the world doesn’t want or indeed need them. They don’t know, for how could they?, that it is the outsiders who make the world. I should know. Back in 1981, before the internet and before Tony Blair, I was an unknown freak. Today I am an icon. Why? Because I dared to say something different. In a world of grey, I was a spec of orange.

Thinking can be totally and incongruously ruin-able. A disease if you would. For to sit for days, weeks, months, and possibly years with your own thoughts, never to be able to articulate them is ruinous. That can kill the spirit. But we must plough on. It’s either isolation and our thoughts or the dumbing down of our minds thanks to television or the internet."

14/08/2015 - A question was asked as follows: You published your autobiography in 2013, and recently stated that you've finished your novel. When it comes to your literary choices regarding genre, do you prefer fictional or non-fictional books? Is a story more touching and relevant when/because it really happened, or are these unrelated subjects?

Here is the reply from Anon. The first line of the reply is INCREDIBLE, bearing in mind it was written well BEFORE anyone had set eye on List of the Loss - it is 'fact of the fiction', a phrase used by Morrissey on the back cover of LotL:

"Sometimes the fiction of a story is actually the author’s true thoughts and experiences so should not be labelled fiction at all. Most non-fiction can bore the knickers off of a nun. We are told not to judge books by their covers although you are allowed to do so with musicians! How many more records would I have sold if people would dare scrape behind the public image?

I find that most non-fiction authors are emotionally detached from their subject matter; one could read a book about the genocide in Rwanda and feel absolutely nothing. Then there are books such as The diaries of Kenneth Williams which produce tears from the very first passage, a shovel to the head. ‘Britishness’ died when he snuffed it. "


Embedded image permalink

14/08/2015 - A question was asked as follows: Would you consider marrying me in an ancient occult blood sharing ritual in a graveyard at midnight during a full moon?

Anon's reply:

"It’s already happened. Can you not remember? I shall not expect an anniversary gift then. Unloveable forever."

23/09/2015 -

"Beauty masks the ugly and ugly masks the beauty. Who has it in them to be unmasked? Starts feel like endings and endings feel like starts. Who has it in them to end a start? Art becomes distasteful but then distasteful itself becomes art. Who finds art distasteful? Life is death and death is life. Each second matters to no-one but ourselves. Selfishness accelerates at such a speed that whiplash is to be expected if the speed is to (sic) slow. My life has been given to art and yet art wants nothing to do with my life. Managers manage nothing but self-loathing. Artists must manage themselves but self-loathing in artists happens long before the management process. We spend each day processing smells, processing sights, processing faces but we do not process feelings. True feelings do not exist in real life. The only true feeling we have is the emotion that is a response to the singing voice. The singing voice can produce feelings of sadness, happiness, nothingness, loneliness etc.
The singing voice is all we have. The singing voice is all I have.

Yours unretired,
Nobody’s nothing"


There are other questions and answers from August 2015, which can still be found on TWOM, but just in case of that self combustion, here they are:

1) Do you think if you were a woman, you would have less, equal, or more success as an internationally known recording artist?

"You ask this question like I’ve had any success at all! You must only look at the radio ‘playlists’ to realise what a male orientated world the music industry is. To find a female artist on playlists of radio stations such as XFM is like trying to find a hit from Johnny Marr’s solo albums. You have to ask yourself what it takes to become a successful female recording artist. If it was brains and intellect then Patti Smith would have been number one for several decades. If it is the voice then it would be Joni Mitchell. If it is politics then it would Buffy. But of course none of these things matter. The thing that sells with female recording artists is, unfortunately still, sex. Those who wear the least clothes will sell the most. Driven and managed by sex mad, chauvinistic, male record label bosses, singers are forced to perform erotically in each video they make to the satisfaction of these bosses who presumably watch this videos to excite themselves when their wives have left them.

To answer your questions, I would have had no success at all because I would have refused to play that game. Some things are worth more than success and money. I would still have my integrity as I clean the spillages in aisle four. "


2) If you were granted 3 wishes: one for yourself, one for the world, and a bonus wish, what would you wish for?

Three wishes for myself because lets face it the world does not want my wishes or deserve them.

1) That I never set eyes on Mike Joyce and that we hired Boy George to drum for The Smiths. They probably have the same ability. 
2) To have a 5 album record deal. I know I said these wishes for myself but really this is a wish for the whole world.
3) To retire to Blackburn with three dogs and Mike Joyce’s head on the wall. 
4) For Boz to be recognised as the musical talent he is. 

3) What is your preferred method of communication these days?

Carrier pigeon or the singing voice. Failing that? Telepathy

The method of "carrier pigeon" as a means of communication was also mentioned by Alfs Button in a twitter session on September 14 2015, as documented on Day 1105 of FTM - Alf referred to himself as Jack Duckworth.


In other news, Supreme have started selling t-shirts and posters featuring that 'needed by nobody' photo, and already the t-shirts are selling for incredibly overinflated prices on ebay; not, it would seem, because it features Morrissey, but because new Supreme releases are apparently VERY collectable. A video has appeared on Youtube of people queuing outside Supreme in New York on the first day of release, which features some of them being asked what they know about Morrissey. In the main, the answer is not a lot (although one very sweet lad tells how I Know It's Over makes him cry), but I guess they will know more now.

Our Mozzer made a flying visit to The Wrong Arms at 7.45pm (UK time) last night to make a comment regarding the Supreme video:

"@TheRatsBack @EmilyeOberg these people may not have heard of me but they know more about me than most".


The only other sign of OM this week was on Wednesday at 10am (UK time), when he simply posted, "Typos are the bane on my existence", which I presume was in response to his mistyping of Martha on Tuesday.

And finally, my twitter timeline has today been filled by Mancunians wishing the nauseating Tony Wilson a happy 66th birthday, which is rather bizarre as he died nine years ago! He never saw 58, let alone 66. Sidney Poitier is 89 today.... and is alive to blow out the candles.

*Goes off singing* Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales, and biting nails are gone

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Day 1615 - Supremely amusing

Yesterday I wrote that it would soon be revealed that Terry Richardson was indeed the photographer who had taken the photograph of Morrissey that is currently being used in Supreme's Spring/Summer 2016 campaign, and we haven't had to wait long to get the official revelation; although it didn't exactly come in the manner any of us would have expected.


There has been no, 'Supreme are very pleased to announce that their new collection will feature Morrissey, the man considered by many to be the greatest living lyricist in the world... blah blah blah... who has been photographed exclusively for Supreme by the world famous fashion and portrait photographer, Terry Richardson... blah blah blah, etc etc etc ', instead we have been informed via two statements that the relationship between Supreme and Morrissey has broken down before it has even begun. Are Supreme being run by Steve Barnett?


Just hours after posters of Morrissey wearing a Supreme t-shirt started appearing on streets all over the world, Morrissey issued the following statement on his True-To-You website:

Supreme then responded with a statement of their Facebook page:

The Supreme statement gave us that confirmation that the photograph had indeed been taken by Terry Richardson, but it was in complete conflict to Morrissey's version of events. The burning question is, 'which of the two statements is true?', or has there actually been no fall-out at all, and this is all just one big publicity stunt?

Morrissey's "excessive apologies for this association" is quite damning towards Supreme, and such a statement would suggest that Morrissey genuinely wishes that he wasn't being featured in the Supreme campaign, but interestingly Morrissey has NOT asked his fans to boycott Supreme, and in particular the soon to be released t-shirt featuring his "enfeebled photo". Morrissey also hasn't made any mention of taking out a court injunction to stop Supreme using his image. Would he not do that if he really felt that strongly?

Likewise, Supreme's statement that there was, "no other viable options" doesn't quite ring true. If Morrissey had been as obstructive as Supreme have stated, then would they really continue to use him in their new campaign? Would they really want to be associated with him in any way? Would they really want to give Morrissey such publicity? If I were the CEO of Supreme, I would rather use the image of a hag from the backstreets rather than Morrissey's. What is more, if Morrissey really refused to return the money, then WHY didn't Supreme sue him; especially as they would have been able to prove to a court that they had been more than reasonable with their other options.

The only common ground in the two otherwise conflicting statements, is that Morrissey offered to return the money and call the whole thing off, and Supreme offered to take back the money and call the whole thing off, and yet... Hmm.

One thing that I certainly don't agree with Morrissey over, is that the photo of him is either "enfeebled" or "fit only for a medical encyclopaedia" - Moz looks the picture of rude health. Morrissey's statement didn't explain if the enfeeblement and fitness were in relation to how he thought he looked, or to the quality of the photograph taken by El Tel. However, Our Mozzer appeared in The Wrong Arms (that's Twitter to you) yesterday evening at 8pm UK time, BEFORE either of the two announcements had been made, and he retweeted an old photo that I had posted of him and Terry, which would tend to suggest that he has no beef with El Tel.


Our Mozzer also tweeted, "Supremely amusing", which I took to mean that he was enjoying seeing photos of the posters all over social media. There was certainly no indication that Our Mozzer was annoyed by the campaign. OM also replied to a tweet that I had posted earlier in the day; which featured: a Youtube clip of the song Terry by Kirsty MacColl, a Supreme poster, and another Terry R photo featuring the word 'ROSE', by tweeting, "@TheRatsBack @Terry_World well it happens a lot round here."

Our Mozzer also tweeted: "My mind is a holiday destination" followed by, "My mind is a factory of death", which suggests that he is constantly battling with his own thoughts. Well, we know that!

It was at this stage that the TTY statement was posted, at which point OM returned to The Arms and tweeted, "Shame is the name". I asked Our Mozzer what had happened to "supremely amusing", to which he replied, "see how the outside contradicts what's inside...". I replied, "And certainly not the first time we've seen this, but which is the truth?", to which OM shrugged (if one can shrug via a tweet), and replied, "don't ask me, what do I know?"


When I later tweeted a copy of Supreme's statement, OM tweeted to me, "and that, I think, is supremely amusing". He didn't elaborate as to why he found it supremely amusing - perhaps OM had actually written the statement for them!

If Morrissey doesn't take out a court injunction to stop Supreme using his image, and if Supreme don't decide to scrap the campaign featuring a man who has publicly rubbished them, then the Morrissey t-shirts will go on sale on February 18th priced at 44 dollars.

Today at 1pm UK time, OM appeared again in The Arms to post, "Nobody owns art", and then at 2.22pm, he rather bizarrely replied to a tweet posted by @EdwynCollins from 14 MAY 2014, which read, "PS Morrissey is here on Twitter, fact, !!!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!! - Edwyn". OM's reply of today to this 21 month old tweet was, "no I'm bloody not".

WHAT was the point of this tweet of OM's? Was it merely a result of him having done a search of 'Morrissey twitter' and finding the tweet from the former lead singer of Scottish post-punk band, Orange Juice, or was it to show us that Collins KNOWS?

Collins's original tweet of May 2014 was obviously in relation to the long defunct, @ItsMorrissey twitter account, but perhaps Morrissey has recently let him know about the @BRSChairman account. In reply to OM's "no I'm bloody not" tweet, I posted a smiley face, and then rather oddly got a tweet from @EdwynCollins saying, "@TheRatsBack Re' Mozz? He's not on 'Twitter' it's a joke, SORRY - Edwyn." The most interesting thing about Collins's tweet; apart from the fact that it was rather random for him to tweet me at all, was that for some reason, he had untagged @BRSChairman - WHY? I have a feeling Collins knows, you know... but who knows?


*Goes off singing* Guilt by implication, by association, I've always been true to you, in my own strange way, she laughed and said, "Shame is the name", she said, "Shame is the name".

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Day 1614 - Morrissey reigns Supreme

Posters of Morrissey wearing a t-shirt manufactured by the clothing company Supreme have started to appear on the streets of cities throughout the world; which in turn has led to the media, Morrissey fans, and Supreme fans speculating that Morrissey may be about to be officially named as the person spearheading Supreme's new Spring/Summer 2016 Collection. As far as I am aware, there has been no such speculation from Diana Ross.

This speculation is of course NOT news or indeed a surprise to the deluded dozen or so members of Morrissey's Blue Rose Society, who were told by Our Mozzer LAST SEPTEMBER to look out for a photo of him taken by Terry Richardson. Actually, Our Mozzer wasn't quite that blatant with the information as he chatted in the BRS chatroom with Kerry, Jesse, MerryAnne, Chuck and Jaz on that day in September 2015, what he actually said to them, was to look out for a photo of him taken by a photographer with the initials TR, and that the photographer's name was similar to Kerry's - Kerry is Kerry Richards, or at least was, Kerry is now Kerry Messenger after some poor soul called Dave got bullied into marriage.


I wasn't in the MW chatroom on that September day; mainly because no one ever lets me know when Our Mozzer enters the chatroom, but if I had been there, then I would have blogged about Mozzer's mention of a forthcoming Terry Richardson photo - actually, I expect that is the reason why no one ever tips me off that M is in the chatroom, as they know I will end up repeating the conversations here on my blog, and some of them are very keen to keep the internet using 'Fake Morrissey' to themselves.

I only found out about the September chatroom chat, in early December, when Chuck aka Orange Mécanique eventually decided to write about 'Fake Moz' mentioning the 'forthcoming Terry Richardson photo' on her blog, The World of Moz. It is a shame that Chuck only wrote about the chatroom chat after Morrissey's website, True-To-You, had posted a photo of Moz wearing a Supreme shirt, if she had written about it before the photo had been published, it would have made it a HUGE story.


There has been no official word as yet that the photo of Morrissey on the Supreme posters was indeed taken by Terry Richardson, but members of the BRS are in NO DOUBT that this news will be forthcoming soon enough; although as Terry Richardson has been used by Supreme for previous campaigns involving the likes of Lou Reed and Neil Young, the announcement that Richardson took the photo of Moz won't exactly come as a massive surprise to anyone, which therefore means that, despite Our Mozzer leaking the news about the photo to the BRS back in September, NO ONE will take a blind bit of notice, and NOTHING will change. Would it have been different if that piece by Orangey Chuck had been posted before the TTY photo was published? We will never know, but I don't think those BRS members should worry too much about the outside world discovering their 'Fake Mozzer', after all, I have been writing this blog of mine for nearly four and a half years, and despite me listing hundreds of blatant signs given by Morrissey to prove that he actually is the 'Fake Mozzer' who uses the internet to interact with his fans, the world won't listen. They don't WANT to believe, they are sleeping.



Justin Bieber is a fan of Supreme, so perhaps he will be next.

*Goes off singing* Terry wants my photograph, Terry says our love will last forever, and he should know

Thursday, 11 February 2016

Day 1612 - Go to waste in The Wrong Arms

It was December 8th that Our Mozzer was last on Twitter, and in the two months since, the place has been dull, dull, dull. And just as I had made the decision to close my account and walk away for good, HE RETURNS! *Waves palm leaves and sings Trouble loves Me*

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I can't say that Our Mozzer has returned to The Loveless, because we had to give up the lease on the extravagant Loveless Go-Go bar due to poor attendance - what was Astra ever thinking of? In it's place we are now renting a much smaller backstreet bar called The Wrong Arms; where members can go to waste at their leisure, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks of the year. The good news is, The Wrong Arms has a jukebox.

Our Mozzer's return yesterday lasted a total of twelve minutes, from 7.34pm (11.34am LA time - which is where Morrissey has recently been photographed) to 7.46pm. Here are his words of wisdom:

"How should one announce a return? A triumphant squeal? Kicking down the door? Punching a nun in the face? This return is akin to a burp"

In reply to Marcus describing OM as the "salt on my chips": "Too much salt is unhealthy. You'll be dead within a week. Athough (sic) there really is no point to life so..."

"I have returned to save you real world tedium. Such as moaning over chipped china, rain on your washing, genocide..." (Ed - OM's sense of humour is firmly intact.)

In response to Marcus posting an article about a man who eats whole raw potatoes to take him out of the mood for sex: "That explains it. All of my unrequited loves must have been eating potatoes. Also explains the lack of chips as a child."

In response to a trending twitter hashtag, WeMissYouLiam (which was apparently started due to a member of 1D not having posted a tweet for a couple of days... what the fuck is going on in this world?!): "Does Noel know Liam has popped his cloggs? Of course he does because Noel knows you know."


The only other possible sighting of Our Mozzer, is an anonymous comment, also posted yesterday, on The World of Moz blog. I obviously don't know if Morrissey left the comment, but it certainly bears his hallmark, and even if it isn't him, it's a beautiful piece of writing. This could be the written equivalent of finding a Banksy. Here is the comment:

A homeless bag-hag on all fours forlornly grunts, crawling past disordered storefronts. Scarves skirt across drudging dust as scarred hands scrape at scraps of fragrant fermenting fruit. A garbled gaze grazes the crowd as she stares at everyone and no one in a cat-eyed-craze. Vacant eyes mirror vagrant sighs whilst steel-lipped grins articulate unsaid whims. Petticoats hide barely enough to feed three, but do you wear a flask on your gartered leg for me? Under a stingy King’s sting, the petty-coated police state snags the bag-hag pinching plums to feed two broken sons. Inbred royalty pays redundant reverence to imbedded imperialist idiocy; deference to village pillages made by badly brainwashed battle-men in the depraved name of ‘brave’ defense. Is theft for the rich not theft? The world knowingly nods – or does it?

Despite my last blog article being on the front page for nine days, it received a pitiful amount of hits, and just four BRS members bothered to leave a comment - FTM is in the gutter, face down, looking at the leaves, twigs, and small pieces of gravel as they are washed by the rain towards the drain; a drain which is blocked and overflowing due to the local council not having the resources or manpower to clear it... but wait, is that the sun I see?

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