Day 833 - A Christmas Message from Our Mozzer

A Christmas message from The Mozziah:

Morrissey23 December 2013 16:17

A miserable Christmas to you all from The Black Lodge.

Life is merely an interruption of death.

Our Mozzer has also posted on the MorrisseysWorld blog that there will be NO MORE articles unless one of the following happens (sorry about the light colour):

"Morrissey is trapped in the Black Lodge and he might never escape. I know This Blog will never post another message until The Real Morrissey (TRM) makes one of following happen:

1.  Morrissey wears a literal blue rose outside of the live arena
2.  Morrissey or one of the band or support artists appears as 'Log Lady'
3.  Morrissey calls himself 'Sarah Palmer'
4. Morrissey issues a statement featuring both the words 'blue' and 'rose'
5. Morrissey makes reference to Marcus Markou's film
6. Morrissey announces UK dates with at least two concerts at leisure centres
7. Morrissey mentions MorrisseysWorld once again
8. Morrissey releases another image featuring blue roses

Until one of these happens, nothing will posted on this blog and Morrissey will remain trapped in The Black Lodge."

When will the world discover MorrisseysWorld?

Will 'Christmas in the Black Lodge' ever be published?

THE BLACK LODGE


So, now we wait.

Merry Christmas to The Mozziah, The Deluded Dozen, The Blue Rose Society and all the poor sods who still haven't worked out that MORRISSEY IS MORRISSEYSWORLD.

From

Rat and all of us here at FTM HQ

Day 824 - Surrealism

Today, I was going to write the next part of my pantomime, but it would take a lot of hard work, and to be honest, for a readership of just twelve people, I can't be bothered! All twelve of my readers know the story anyway, so they can make up the rest of the pantomime in their heads, which will be far more exciting anyway.

I have decided that whilst everything has gone quiet on the Morrissey front, I am going to put this blog thing of mine to bed. It has taken over my life for the past two years, and although I have thoroughly enjoyed the journey, I find that it is like living another life, which leads me nicely onto this:

I would like to share with my twelve readers a theory about MorrisseysWorld. It is not my theory, but that of one of the more intellectual members of the Deluded Dozen:

"I happened to read that November Spawned a Monster was inspired by Les Chants de Maldoror, a poetic novel that inspired the surrealist movement. 'Sleep on and dream of love' supposedly comes from the passage which concludes with, 'sleep on, hermaphrodite, awaken not, I implore you.' The importance of this work to surrealism made me think of David Lynch, who's considered a surrealist filmmaker, and thus the Twin Peaks/MorrisseysWorld connection. Lynch often talks about the blurring of lines between fake and real, a central characteristic of surrealism.

Another link to Morrissey, MorrisseysWorld and surrealism is the fascinating film by Orson Welles called 'F for Fake', where Welles completely toys with the viewer, making it unclear what is real and fake. 'I started at the top and worked my way down' from 'Now I Am a Was' comes from the Welles film, so Moz is apparently familiar with it.





A literary movement associated with surrealism is the Theatre of the Absurd, which includes Samuel Beckett, whom Moz has been compared to. This literary style is obviously characterized by absurdity and often uses nonsense speech because surrealism values the subconscious/dreamworld and irrationality. If Kate Ryan is one of Morrissey's characters, she would be the nonsense/irrational representation of the subconscious to play with our notion of reality. If you notice, she often tweets about reality and truth."

One of the Deluded Dozen
December 2013


If the author of the above wishes to put their name to it in the comments section below, then please do so. The theory seems a perfectly logical one to me. I have to admit that I'd never heard of the Theatre of the Absurd, but then again, why would I have, I don't read! Oh, my poor education. For anybody interested, I googled the Theatre of the Absurd (which to me sounds like a Monty Python sketch):

The Theatre of the Absurd (French: Théâtre de l'Absurde) is a designation for particular plays of absurdist fiction written by a number of primarily European playwrights in the late 1950s, as well as one for the style of theatre which has evolved from their work. Their work expressed the belief that human existence has no meaning or purpose and therefore all communication breaks down. Logical construction and argument gives way to irrational and illogical speech and to its ultimate conclusion, silence.^[1]

Critic Martin Esslin coined the term in his 1960 essay "Theatre of the Absurd." He related these plays based on a broad theme of the Absurd, similar to the way Albert Camus uses the term in his 1942 essay, "The Myth of Sisyphus".^[2] The Absurd in these plays takes the form of man’s reaction to a world apparently without meaning, and/or man as a puppet controlled or menaced by invisible outside forces. Though the term is applied to a wide range of plays, some characteristics coincide in many of the plays: broad comedy, often similar to Vaudeville, mixed with horrific or tragic images; characters caught in hopeless situations forced to do repetitive or meaningless actions; dialogue full of clichés, wordplay, and nonsense; plots that are cyclical or absurdly expansive; either a parody or dismissal of realism and the concept of the "well-made play".

Playwrights commonly associated with the Theatre of the Absurd include Samuel Beckett, Eugène Ionesco, Jean Genet, Harold Pinter, Tom Stoppard, Friedrich Dürrenmatt,Alejandro Jodorowsky, Fernando Arrabal, Václav Havel and Edward Albee.

And finally, Morrissey was photographed in London's Claridge Hotel on Saturday with a group of lads from the isle of Wight. Noel Gallagher was spotted in Claridge's too. Perhaps it was a Freemason meeting!





MORRISSEY AT CLARIDGES HOTEL LONDON

Following The Mozziah - The Pantomime Act 1 Scene 1 - In the dark

ACT 1 - SCENE 1




(A man staggers in the dark on a completely black stage, with just a spot light on him)

TRB: (Talking to audience) Where am I? How have I ended up here?

(A male, Irish voice comes from the dark)

LOUGHTON LIL: Hello, is anybody there?

(The man comes from the dark and joins the first man under the spotlight)

TRB: I thought I was alone. I'm The Rats Back, pleased to meet you. (The pair shake hands)

LOUGHTON: It's grand to meet you too, so it is. Me name's John, but in here I'd like to be known as Loughton Lil. Why are yee called The Rats Back?

TRB: It's because of my hunched, hairy back. People say it's like a rat's back. To make matters worse, I live in a bedsit on the Isle of Wight.

LOUGHTON: Jeesus, you got it bad. A typical Morrissey fan, well, a typical Smiths fan at least. Yes, I can see the hunch now you mention it. Fook me, yer loike Quasi frigging modo. Ne'er moind, it doesn't matter what you look loike in here.

THE RATS BACK


LOUGHTON LIL

TRB: And where exactly is "in here"?

LOUGHTON: Well the soigns I was following said it was MorrisseysWorld.

TRB: Well the signs I saw, were showing MorrisseysWorld to be in the other direction, but something told me to ignore them, and take the opposite route.

LOUGHTON: Aye, they were the same soigns I saw, but I just presumed some fooker had turned them around. That happens a lot from where I come from. Bastards. Anyway, do you think he might be here then? Morrissey, I mean.

TRB: Well, I think so, but it's so dark in here, how are we ever going to find our way, and are we the only two to be following the Mozziah?

LOUGHTON: "Following the Mozziah". I loike that.

(There is a crash of thunder and a flash of lightning, and a skinny man in a pair of jack boots, braces and a cape appears from nowhere) (The audience boo)

SKINNY: (Booming voice) You fools, you bell ended, cretinous fools. Those sign posts hadn't been tampered with, they were purposely pointing the other way. There is nothing worth seeing here. Turn back now, before it is too late.

(There is another flash and crash and Skinny disappears)

(TRB is just about to talk to Loughton when there is yet another crash and flash, and Skinny returns.) (The audience boo)

SKINNY: Did I mention that you are bell ends?

LOUGHTON: Yes, yes you did.

SKINNY: That's alright then.

(There is another flash and crash, and he is gone again)



THE RATS BACK COWERS ON THE FLOOR AT THE FEET OF SKINNY

LOUGHTON: What are you doing on the floor Rats? Get up.

TRB: I was, er, I was just looking for a contact lens. (starts to get up) He was scary wasn't he? So much anger. Do you think he's right, do you think we've misread the signs?

LOUGHTON: Oi've no idea, but now that we're here, we may as well see what we can see. What was it you said, 'Following the Mozziah'.

(Music starts up. Loughton Lil and TRB link arms and skip around the stage in a particularly mincing style, whilst singing the song 'Following the Mozziah')

LOUGHTON & TRB: (Singing)

We were surfing on our laptops
There was nothing much ado
When we stumbled on a Mozzer site
Entitled True To You

We read the three denials
But thought something weren't quite right
So we probed a little further
And now we've taken flight...

CHORUS

We're Following the Mozziah
Following the Mozziah
Things could be a whole lot worse
It could be Alagiah

We're Following the Mozziah
Following the Mozziah
And if it isn't him we've found
Then some cunt's a good liar


(The song finishes)

LOUGHTON: I can hear a noise coming from just over there (points to stage left).

TRB: It sounds like voices, and I think I can hear music. If I close my eyes (TRB closes his eyes), I can see a pub.

LOUGHTON: Yes, so can I. (closes his eyes) It's a traditional English pub. Can you make out the name? Close your eyes real tight, it will make it clearer.

TRB: (squeezes eyes tighter shut) Yes, it's all becoming very clear, it's called The Twitterdilly Arms.

 (A pub suddenly appears at the side of the stage)




LOUGHTON: Come on, let's head inside, it would appear that we aren't alone in this here, MorrisseysWorld.

(Music starts up again, Loughton & TRB link arms, and skip towards the pub, singing)

LOUGHTON & TRB:

We're Following the Mozziah

Following the Mozziah

Things could be a whole lot worse

It could be Alagiah

We're Following the Mozziah

Following the Mozziah

And if it isn't him we've found

Then some cunt's a good liar

(The curtain falls and some of the audience throw roses. TRB pokes his head through the curtains)

TRB: Not yet you fools, the roses come at the end.

Act 1 - Scene 2 

The setting is inside The Twitterdilly Arms

Shall I continue?

Day 821 - Trousergate

The MorrisseysWorld blog has made a swift return, although there is no new content, and no sign of the promised parody about the documentary. It is my guess, that the MW blog has only returned so that people can use it's chat room; as nobody tends to go there if the blog isn't attached to it, and Our Mozzer might be planning a good old fashioned lonely christmas, with just virtual friends/fans to keep him company in his bedsit.


BOZ BOORER DECORATES THE MW BEDSIT, BEFORE BEING ASKED TO LEAVE


Aside from MorrisseysWorld, the grey flannel trousers that Morrissey wore in OslO have caused a storm amongst his fans.



TROUSER STORM


Nobody seems to know WHY Morrissey chose to wear them, but JJazmineMoz has posted this on twitter:

ⓜⓞⓡⓡⓘⓩⓩⓨ ‏@JJazmineMoz8h

am I deluded? or what? @chucknorrissey @LizzyCatMoz @TheRatsBack pic.twitter.com/iyDeRFT1ap

Apparently, the above conversation about baggy trousers took place in the MW chat room on November 24th. Surely just a genuine coincidence, after all, they weren't trousers that hung half way down his backside, they were genuine flared slacks! Surely Moz is just being a trend setter, SURELY!




AVAILABLE FROM ALL GOOD HIGH STREET STORES


Apart from Trousergate, all is quiet in MozWorld, although Doolally Dolly has been on the tweet rampage again. I STILL don't know what to make of her, but most of the other members of the 'Deluded Dozen' have lost interest in her. Despite her tweets being absolute random twaddle, I can't
help but remember that she was one of the first to discover MW, and seemed VERY sane back then, but this screenshot tweet today offers nothing but further confusion. Is that a hidden picture of people in grey trousers, just below the word Britney, near the top?


DOLLY'S SCREEN SHOT

Anyway, I don't want to blog for the sake of blogging, so I will now disappear until something happens. GWO has suggested a pantomime, so perhaps I will write one. How about a Following The Mozziah panto, where strangers meet, looking for The Mozziah, and instead of following a yellow brick road, or a star, they are led by a black cloud. Hmm, I think I'll get started on it.

Day 820 - The Bollocks Remain

From yesterday: "FTM is dead, and only one of the following, tonight in OslO, will bring it back from the dead:

1. Morrissey to wear a rose (colour unimportant)

2. Morrissey to sing a new version of November Spawned a Monster

3. Morrissey to sing Lazy Sunbathers

4. Morrissey to make an 'O' sign with his thumb and index finger

5. Morrissey to sing Meat is Murder

6. Morrissey to not sing at all

If NONE of the above happen, this blog will close."

Number 1 - TICK (A bracelet full of white roses)

Number 4 - HALF A TICK (see above)

Morrissey11 December 2013 17:53

If the c*** closes his blog, I'll eat my own bo*****s. No, no, no - it isn't going to happen. Meat is Murder and Scandinavia would certainly have a certain high camp aesthetic, in the circumstances, of course... but... no, not both of them - surely?

Boz...! Boz....! Boz, get your fat a**e up here this instant!

So, FTM has been saved, but the MorrisseysWorld blog has once again closed, all versions of Autobiography have now been published, there are no more concert appearances in the offing, and no book signings announced.... so, NOW what?

Day 819 - All Eyes on OslO

Tonight, Morrissey will walk onto the stage for the first time since March 8th in Portland, where ironically, the last song he sang was Still Ill. Tonight's concert is the Nobel Peace Prize concert in Oslo, and we are informed that Morrissey will be singing three songs.

Drummer, Matt Walker is back in the band, having eventually arrived in Oslo after a delayed journey from Chicago via Twitter! He yesterday tweeted that all was going well:

matthew walker ‏@mwBATTERY18h

dress rehearsal for nobel peace prize performance, it's all comin back and feels good...

There has been no leaks as to which three songs are being sung, so I would like to invite my readers to predict what will be played, or what they would like to see played. I have decided to make the following predictions, and if NONE of my predictions are correct, this blog will close. I can also reveal that FTM has received NO hits from Norway, so if  Morrissey has previously been reading my blog, he certainly hasn't been this week. FTM is dead, and only one of the following, tonight in OslO, will bring it back from the dead:

1. Morrissey to wear a rose (colour unimportant)
2. Morrissey to sing a new version of November Spawned a Monster
3. Morrissey to sing Lazy Sunbathers
4. Morrissey to make an 'O' sign with his thumb and index finger
5. Morrissey to sing Meat is Murder
6. Morrissey to not sing at all

If NONE of the above happen, this blog will close.

3.45PM - UPDATE- Oscar appears in Oslo















3.47PM - UPDATE - Somebody has peered in from Norway:

Entry	Pageviews
United States	282
United Kingdom	161
China	80 (spam)
France	41
Germany	35
Japan	34
Russia	33 (spam)
Norway	10
Australia	8
Ukraine	8 (spam)

Day 818 - Two Lumps Please

Some people follow MorrisseysWorld because they believe it is Morrissey, whilst others don't care if it is Moz or not, they just like it. Some used to follow MW because they liked the humour, but then ditched it because they didn't like Log Lady, the 'O's, and some other things that challenged them.....Oh, and there was Houstongate, which really sorted the cupcakes from the clam.

CUPCAKE - A WORD USED IN BOTH MORRISSEY'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY & THE FAKE INTERVIEW WITH FTM....HMM


Although there is no doubt in my mind that MW is Moz, it actually doesn't matter to me who it is, the blog is just extremely enjoyable, and the spin-offs that have come from it are just as fascinating, particularly the Blue Rose Society, but also the 'characters' that have appeared throughout the whole journey.

Two such 'characters', or 'lumps' (as I have decided to affectionately refer to them today) are Mozzerie Guts and Astraea, both of whom I mentioned yesterday. These two lumps are the bees knees, and let's face it, this earth needs bees, and particularly their knees.


ASTRAEA - DAUGHTER OF ZEUS - AKA GINA LOLLOBRIGIDA AND A DEER


Astraea is like the old 'Spirit of Nico' aka @DotDotDotPause (a characterthat graced this story some time ago, and then disappeared), and has been posting some unbelievably good songs from Youtube, where as Mozzerie tends to offer syrupy words. A number of people believe that these two characters are both Morrissey, but as to whether they are or not is irrelevant, they have something to give, and an audience who want to receive.

 Astraea in particular is introducing me to songs (and singers) that I have never heard before, and when you hear a song like 'Stone is Very, Very Cold' for the first time, it gives a buzz that is no different to the excitement one had as a teenager hearing an outstanding new song for the first time. Yesterday Astraea posted the following, all of which I am not too embarrassed to admit, I had NEVER, EVER heard before:

Je Me Donne A Qui Me Plait by Brigit Bardot

A couple of songs by Mamie Van Doren 

Farewell by Ayshea 

Teach Me Tiger by April Stevens

That Makes It by Jayne Mansfield

Let Me Entertain You by Ann Margret

GOBSMACKINGLY GOOD



AYSHEA


Hopefully both Astraea and Mozzerie Guts will continue to entertain and educate.

Meanwhile, the following was yesterday posted anonymously on my blog entry of  October 29th, entitled 'I Smell A Rat'.

Anonymous10 December 2013 04:02

His name is Gabriele Grandoni, and some of you may recognize this lion (no, not the indoor ones). This was taken in 2005.
https://picasaweb.google.com/108565267215541736918/ProfilePhotos#5724933980974250818

GELATO?


And tomorrow, I shall invite my readers to choose the three songs that they think Moz should/will sing tomorrow in OslO.

Day 817 - OslO Week

Satellite of Love didn't feature in yesterday's Top 40 (or Top 200 come to that) chart, despite the fact that I played it non stop all week. It would have no doubt have charted if the 7" and 12" vinyl versions had been released at the same time, but they aren't coming out until the end of January. Actually, I doubt sales of actual records count towards chart positions anymore! The charts is dead.


3 TRACK 7" AVAILABLE FROM 27/1/14 AT £8.99 AND 4 TRACK 12" AT £6.99


Meanwhile, back in MorrisseysWorld, the MW blog has gone quiet, with nothing new added since November 24th. I wasn't going to write a blog entry, as I am only really here to report on my MW findings, but there are many 'Spin-offs' from MorrisseysWorld, including a number of what I believe to be, Morrissey's heteronyms, or 'Pessoa's' as I have often referred to them.


One such heteronym is Kate Ryan aka Doolally Dolly (@DollyWilde on twitter) who has been on the tweet rampage for a number of days now, and despite her tweets being fantastically off the wall, I'm wondering if some of the ramblings are a clue as to what is coming in Oslo on Wednesday. I also can't help thinking that, just like Fernando Pessoa's heteronyms, Doolally Dolly might actually be writing a play!

Here, once again (as I'm sure I've published this before), is how Pessoa himself described some of his heteronyms:

Fernando Pessoa on the heteronyms

« How do I write in the name of these three? Caeiro, through sheer and unexpected inspiration, without knowing or even suspecting that I’m going to write in his name. Ricardo Reis, after an abstract meditation, which suddenly takes concrete shape in an ode. Campos, when I feel a sudden impulse to write and don’t know what. (My semi-heteronym Bernardo Soares, who in many ways resembles Álvaro de Campos, always appears when I'm sleepy or drowsy, so that my qualities of inhibition and rational thought are suspended; his prose is an endless reverie. He’s a semi-heteronym because his personality, although not my own, doesn’t differ from my own but is a mere mutilation of it. He’s me without my rationalism and emotions. His prose is the same as mine, except for certain formal restraint that reason imposes on my own writing, and his Portuguese is exactly the same – whereas Caeiro writes bad Portuguese, Campos writes it reasonably well but with mistakes such as "me myself" instead of "I myself", etc.., and Reis writes better than I, but with a purism I find excessive...). »

— Fernando Pessoa, "Letter to Adolfo Casais Monteiro", 13.01.1935, translated by Richard Zenith

Two other 'characters' have tweeted today, '@Mozzerie-Guts', for the first time since June, and '@FadingGoldLeaf' aka Astraea, who tends to post superb Youtube offerings. Mozzerie offered this solitary tweet:

Mozzerie-Guts ‏@MozzerieGuts10h

Remember when I was alive? (On second thought, I beg you not to answer that scrap of a question.)

Astraea meanwhile tweeted Youtube footage of 'Janitor of Lunacy' (Live at Le Bataclan in Paris from 1972) by Lou Reed, John Cale and Nico (See here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ojy3mWioeVU)





Last week, Astraea posted footage of Italian singer, Mina, just after Romina had left comment on my blog about Mina. Hmmm. (Video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_tX7Ey_UC0)

My favourite offering from Astraea, has been this wonderful song by Priscilla Paris, called Stone Is Very, Very Cold: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdP4vIpLfHs


PRISCILLA PARIS


And now we wait for Wednesday.